Sexting
by Taste the Rainbow- Or Else
Summary: Our little Allie-Bear is growing up...
1. Sex Slave

***I do not own the Mortal Instruments or Family Guy. Those belong to Cassandra Clare and Seth McFarland, respectively.***

**:D Hi, guys! Jesus, it's been way too long. I fear my hiatus might be…gasp- permanent! I just love writing my own stuff too much. I fear I might be getting in too deep. So, yes, I might abandon all my stories and delete them, leaving only the one-shots. (So far, on my hiatus, I've written at least seven one-shots I haven't posted). If I ever finish the stories, I'll put them up, but never before then. I'm sorry, guys! I love you all, and I want to thank anyone who's even read so much as a word of mine, but…I just suck too bad at planning, honestly XD. Anyway, I didn't really put too much thought into this and I'm not impressed at all, but it's just a little two-shot I had fun loads of fun writing. It's rated M for sexual themes and suggestions, but nothing lemony or anything. ^.^ enjoy!**

Sexting: Part I

Sex Slave

Alec Lightwood had never before cared to notice justhow close _Mom _and _Magnus _came in the alphabet. It was rather inconvenient, really. With his meager (nonexistent) amount of friends, they came right next to each other in his phone's contact list.

Yeah, Alec really hated that. However, no matter how intense his dislike, he paid it no mind as he absently tapped the _M _name.

With a red face, he typed.

Magnus had really tested him yesterday. Thinking he could get away with it, whispering those dirty things in his ear right in front of Alec's parents…. Of course, it was _Alec _who'd given them away, blushing furiously and dragging a snickering Magnus away to the broom closet in the hall (and behind very much closed doors).

But now it was time for payback. Alec knew that his boyfriend was with a client; of course, that only made the timing more perfect.

Alexander sat back with a smug smile and figuratively bloodied nose, feeling extremely satisfied with himself for having actually pressed _send _on the 'sext'. That is, until he got the call…

"Hello?"

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood!" His mother fumed. "_What _is the meaning of this text message? I am your _mother_, _not _your sex slave. Of all the stupid, inappropriate things…" Her voice was lost with the grumblings, but he got the gist. "Care to explain, young man?"

"Uh…"

_Shit._


	2. Sexual Deviance

***Again, I no own anything!* **

Sexting: Part II

Sexual Deviance

"Mom!" Alec was dying inside as he spluttered. "Mom, I swear I can explain!"

"It had better be good, Alexander."

"T-that…" His will shriveled under the (phoned) scrutiny of Maryse Lightwood, the dust of his dignity leaving only enough left for a hoarse whisper. "That was for Magnus,"

"_Magnus_?" His mother echoed with disbelief. "Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn? _That _Magnus?"

"Well, yes," He rolled his eyes. "He also happens to be my boyfriend, y'know."

"That is true," Maryse conceded. "But Magnus is a _High Warlock_, not some sexual deviant."

Alec didn't really think now would be a good time to mention that the _High Warlock_ had been sexually devianting him for a good three months now. Usually twice a day. Sometimes three. They both thought it to be an extremely healthy relationship. And, uh, it's a great way to stay in shape. **(Totally awesome and random Family Guy reference!)**

It was needless to say that Alec's face didn't return to a normal color for a full three days- and that was _before _his mother came home from Idris.

.~.

"So, you're saying you wanted to get payback by sexting? And you accidently sent it to your _mother _instead? Oh, my darling Alexander," Magnus's eyes flashed wickedly as he grinned, pulling the numb-faced Alec into his lap.

"Shuddup," He muttered.

Mr. Bane didn't appear to hear him. "It was a good plan, of course. I don't think it would be too professional to excuse myself from my whiny werewolf client just so I could start jerking it in comfort…" An inquisitive brow rose. "Just what did the text _say_?"

Alec buried his burning face into the warlock's shoulder, not answering. Magnus smiled evilly. He knew _exactly _where Alec's phone was, after all… His hand slipped into the Shadowhunter's back pocket, pulling out the battered device.

"No, no, no!" Knowing that the warlock could easily overpower him (using magic and the like, _of course_), Alec just covered his face, squeezed his eyes shut, and wished for it all to be over.

Magnus's slit pupils dilated as they scanned the screen.

Alec froze as something hard probed his bum.

"My, my, my, Alexander…" _His _High Warlock purred. "It was a _very_ good plan indeed."

(And then they proceeded to do the nasty. Several times. _Ahem._)

And that was the end to this terrible (but, admittedly, extremely fun) two-shot. Haha I assure you, I am not at all impressed with this, but it was so darn fun to write I don't even care. *Damn Straight*. Hope you had as good a time as I did! Thanks for reading!


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